Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Beckham : 6 clubs,4 kids and the Worst Spice Girl !!

Ok so Let me take you for a trip down memory lane back to the late 90's n early part of the 21st century.
Worry not I'm not gonna remind you of the Slam books you filled enlisting your favorite band as The BackStreet Boys or humming emotion soaked Westlife songs like "If I Let you Go" which is in fact what i will say to my Stream of Pee once my Prostate enlarges and I have to make a deal for it to pass smoothly .



 I am not even gonna talk about how Britney Spears would sing " o yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ....Oops I did it again " and remind you what a relief it is to not be Constipated anymore once you're done n have flushed it down the toilet.

So its 6 pm , you have just finished a highly intense fistfight enduring Football match back in school and you have just returned home with  bruises on your knee or as I prefer to call them War Wounds courtesy some Rahul or a  Mike or George,yes the good old White people had names like Mike George Peter and not like Kai and Klay like the Rooneys now.

So your mom has seen your wounds and has instructed you to take a quick shower while in the meantime she prepares the 2 min Maggi noodles in relation to which if you ask me Id say "The Greatest trick the Devil pulled was to convince us Maggi can be made in 2 minutes apart from telling us there is INTEL INSIDE our computers ".So shes waiting for you to come out quickly from your shower,knocking repeatedly on your door unlike opportunity,but you . . yes you have shampoo all over your hair and standing in front of the mirror,you are about to emulate the hairstyle of perhaps the greatest showstopper the game of football has ever seen : David Beckham.


David Robert Joseph Beckham - guy who could walk into any Football team or Boy band in the 90's with the talent he had for things.Part of Fergie's Fledglings,Beckham went on to be the poster boy for most football fans,he was the face of football at one point of time,7 out of 10 kids watched football because of him and the other three because their girls would drool over him.I personally started football as a Newcastle fan ( don't ask me why ) but then Beckham was something special , so special that every free kick that was awarded would have a David Beckham reference on the televison channel and one flashing in your mind,every Long pass you made on FIFA using your console,David would do it with ease day in day out at Old Trafford . If growing up you loved football,you must have loved Beckham or else there was something wrong with you.

David Beckham went from Manchester to Madrid to LA to Milan to Paris : I wont blame you if at this point you are thinking im talking about the Journey of a super Model and living life in the mentioned Fashion Capitals across the worlds.David would done a new haircut and people would want it.In the 2002 World Cup Ronaldo had this

You rather want Herpes than that.

David had this

and so did a Billion Asians who were more fond of him than Rice.
Football made money from his popularity,he made money being a footballer,people made money selling underwear using him and what not.There wasnt a single street in the local markets that wouldnt have a no.7 jersey on display.Then there were 32 jaw dropping tattoos and 4 kids and one Spice girl . Perhaps the envy of all women around the world Victoria sure did wat most women should do " If u cant be successful,be with a successful man".
Victoria to David is what Gauri is to Shahrukh Khan except that Victoria does not have a pompous asshole in the bedroom.


Its funny how when most men start their careers in their 30s its time for footballers to go. Beckham might be over with Football but then I wouldn be surprised if they romp him for the Next Bond or the next movie in the Mission Impossible franchise.My personal recommendation would be to replace Gabriel Macht in the popular show SUITS.



Jokes apart , its the end of a fascinating career.
Goodbye Becks !! at one point you were bigger than the sport itself
but that does not mean i forgive you for Victoria !!