Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Last Lecture !! No Im Not Dying.

So its 430 pm , its about to be the end of days play in the OPD and suddenly the Senior doctor asked me to take a lecture the next morning for a bunch of students who at that point were in their hostel rooms wondering,whats the whole point of med school when Sir Ravindra Jadeja can play IPL and make Crores of money and trend on twitter every fucking day !!

So it was scheduled for the next day for about 80 odd students out of which maybe just a few were looking forward to the lecture as Charlie Sheen was regarding beating up his Ex wife.
That " Good Mooooorrrrnnniinggg Sir " in unison reminded me of kids who are a part of  those Christmas Choir in school.Felt good to say " Sit Down " ( always wanted to do that once before i get whipped n married).

Since it was a lecture about Eye and its Sugery felt like opening with a joke like " If something goes wrong during Eye surgery ... THERE IS NO LOOKING BACK " but then why wake the ones who were sleeping peacefully.Its a totally different ball game when ur back is facing the board and ur up there all alone.Ill be honest,I had a constant feeling which got stronger every 5 mins that " what if my Fly is open ".Luckily unlike most of our friend's FB relationship status it wasn't Open.

The lecture reminded me of my own days as a Med School undergraduate where as soon as the lecture starts and till it ends there are always those assholes who keep nodding at every eye contact the lecturer makes with them.We all agree,we HATE the Nodder.And then there is that bunch of three good friends who are at some point in the lecture planning their own trip to Spain like those three do in the movie ZNMD.I went to school in the 90's so we had our Dil Chahta Hai Goa Trip.But my Fav ones were the ones who were thinking they're in love and waiting for the WhatsApp " Last Seen at ... turn to Online .... turn to Typing .... "

Ill save you the boring part of the lecture which of course was what the students had to endure and then as soon as the lecture ended as cliched as it might sound,everyone had a sigh of relief just like we would after sitting through a Tushar Kapoor movie.Then there were some who were talking chitchatting and I felt like telling them what most Indian Men tell their partners in bed " Keep Quiet and just finish doing your Job " but then I was just hoping my name does not end up between a Dick graffiti on the back benchers desk or a hate  post on the college FB Confession page.

The Dalai Lama once said and I quote " There is a special bond that binds all of us " . . .  . . and I felt it that day at the end of the lecture when it was my turn to take,and their turn to give/mark in their ' Attendance '.More than the early morning breakfast,the Attendance is at that moment the most important thing to do of the day.

Was a pretty good lecture but I still regret making two gross errors i.e Using a Chalk and wearing a Black Shirt to the lecture . Nevertheless Im hoping more and more people will wish me " Happy Teachers Day " not coz I popped my cherry by taking a lecture but coz I once TAUGHT my Ex-GF not to boss around with me,no matter what "

The class is dismissed you can go back to sleep or click here for the most amazing lecture I've seen
 Randy Pausch : Last Lecture 

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Mumbai : How I've Missed Your Summers S01E01 !!

Lets tick the clock a year back.......

I'm sitting in my comfortable Boxers ( highly misleading term coz they are NOT at all equipped to take a Punch down there ) feeling like a Megan fox poster because its summer.A Bengali carpenter who was working in my house at that time would call me " Dada " and along with the Hot weather it provided the perfect setting for me to stand at my window and remove my tee-shirt like Ganguly and twirl it hurling abuses at the weather Gods.
At times its been so Hot I've advised my friends to listen to what their Gf's say coz its no point getting into a HEATED arguement with her in that sort of weather.

So I've moved to another city to pursue a career in Ophthalmology n related surgery  or as the common man would call it " that contact lens guy " and its been almost a year and I've missed Mumbai city,my own city, the city where you can smell fish,garbage,sewage and a random guys sweat all within a radius of half a km on any given day.

I've missed the enthusiasm with which my favorite people the Gujarati's have been " Going for Gold " at the Jewellery market(Zaveri Bazaar) more than the Indian contingent going to the London Olympics in search for Gold.Frankly speaking every guy who was a favorite for Gold and came home with a bronze " made us proud ".Well no offences but early and successful Toilet training by their kids makes Mom's proud.We do have really low expectations.

Talking about expectations,staying away from the city I've missed the long late night drives with my friends at Carter Road where Women come to walk their Dogs and Men ..... come across As Dogs !!I don blame the men coz if the women can act like bitches why cant they behave like dogs.Expectations are not very high regarding the opposite gender in the city the further you go away from an engineering college,where if you are a girl ...its more than enough for the men.

Ive missed the Monsoons and the frustration that is vented out on Twitter regarding Potholes and the promises made by the Municipal authorities to mend the situation.Its surely a Bumpy ride during the monsoon and thank god the women in the city aren't as blessed as their Bangalore counterparts which I've seen off lately.And as the monsoons go there comes Sept/October where I've missed the start of " Where are we going for New Years Discussion ".Its amazing how much planning shopping takes place to eventually go to a House Party.
Ive missed the frequent Auto Rickshaw strikes and the occasional Bomb Blasts which bring out the " Spirit of Mumbai " in every Mumbaiite.To be honest the term "Spirit of Mumbai must only be used for the Cheap Alcohol you get at Janta or Gokul late at night which I hear isnt cheap anymore.

Then came January where I missed the launch of Salman Khans's Being Human store in Bandra. I heard a lot
of fans gathered the night of the launch,so many that the collective I.Q of all the fans gathered outside the store was less than 4 Andhra boys in my college Hostel sharing rooms.
Let me not get into how much I've missed poking fun at the mass gathering just to see the first STARBUCKS in the locality. I've seen more people checking in (@ Starbucks with 8 others ) on Facebook than men at a herpes screening

Train journeys which remind you of the Bono song " " Sometimes You Cant Make it On Your Own " which is surely inspired by the middle class Mumbaikar's train journey in the morning where on a good day ur just greated by a hairy armpit and not a smelly one on ur way to work at Andheri and Saki naka ( hahahaha I know you expected a joke there ).Ive missed them all.
Ive missed alot of things some good,some bad some but nothing beats the thrill of meeting some college guys who just came from an IPL game and said " Duuuudee The MUSIC in the stadium was awesome \m/ "

Jokes apart .....
I've missed Mumbai !!
Cyu soon.