Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Mumbai : How I've Missed Your Summers S01E01 !!

Lets tick the clock a year back.......

I'm sitting in my comfortable Boxers ( highly misleading term coz they are NOT at all equipped to take a Punch down there ) feeling like a Megan fox poster because its summer.A Bengali carpenter who was working in my house at that time would call me " Dada " and along with the Hot weather it provided the perfect setting for me to stand at my window and remove my tee-shirt like Ganguly and twirl it hurling abuses at the weather Gods.
At times its been so Hot I've advised my friends to listen to what their Gf's say coz its no point getting into a HEATED arguement with her in that sort of weather.

So I've moved to another city to pursue a career in Ophthalmology n related surgery  or as the common man would call it " that contact lens guy " and its been almost a year and I've missed Mumbai city,my own city, the city where you can smell fish,garbage,sewage and a random guys sweat all within a radius of half a km on any given day.

I've missed the enthusiasm with which my favorite people the Gujarati's have been " Going for Gold " at the Jewellery market(Zaveri Bazaar) more than the Indian contingent going to the London Olympics in search for Gold.Frankly speaking every guy who was a favorite for Gold and came home with a bronze " made us proud ".Well no offences but early and successful Toilet training by their kids makes Mom's proud.We do have really low expectations.


Talking about expectations,staying away from the city I've missed the long late night drives with my friends at Carter Road where Women come to walk their Dogs and Men ..... come across As Dogs !!I don blame the men coz if the women can act like bitches why cant they behave like dogs.Expectations are not very high regarding the opposite gender in the city the further you go away from an engineering college,where if you are a girl ...its more than enough for the men.

Ive missed the Monsoons and the frustration that is vented out on Twitter regarding Potholes and the promises made by the Municipal authorities to mend the situation.Its surely a Bumpy ride during the monsoon and thank god the women in the city aren't as blessed as their Bangalore counterparts which I've seen off lately.And as the monsoons go there comes Sept/October where I've missed the start of " Where are we going for New Years Discussion ".Its amazing how much planning shopping takes place to eventually go to a House Party.
Ive missed the frequent Auto Rickshaw strikes and the occasional Bomb Blasts which bring out the " Spirit of Mumbai " in every Mumbaiite.To be honest the term "Spirit of Mumbai must only be used for the Cheap Alcohol you get at Janta or Gokul late at night which I hear isnt cheap anymore.


Then came January where I missed the launch of Salman Khans's Being Human store in Bandra. I heard a lot
of fans gathered the night of the launch,so many that the collective I.Q of all the fans gathered outside the store was less than 4 Andhra boys in my college Hostel sharing rooms.
Let me not get into how much I've missed poking fun at the mass gathering just to see the first STARBUCKS in the locality. I've seen more people checking in (@ Starbucks with 8 others ) on Facebook than men at a herpes screening


Train journeys which remind you of the Bono song " " Sometimes You Cant Make it On Your Own " which is surely inspired by the middle class Mumbaikar's train journey in the morning where on a good day ur just greated by a hairy armpit and not a smelly one on ur way to work at Andheri and Saki naka ( hahahaha I know you expected a joke there ).Ive missed them all.
Ive missed alot of things some good,some bad some but nothing beats the thrill of meeting some college guys who just came from an IPL game and said " Duuuudee The MUSIC in the stadium was awesome \m/ "

Jokes apart .....
I've missed Mumbai !!
Cyu soon.








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